When You Least Want It

From ER Season 8, Episode 7 “If I Should Fall From Grace”:

Carter: Want to tell us about the scars?

Grace: I used to be a cutter…I developed an eating disorder. It was my way of dealing with stress….

Lewis: And what about now, are you still cutting?

Grace: No.

Carter: Show me your arm….Grace you have a fever…maybe from an infection. Maybe from using a dirty blade.¬†

Grace: I told you I haven’t eaten.

Lewis: So the eating disorder continues?

Grace: No! I’ve just been cramming.

Carter: Let me see your thigh.

[Lewis lifts up her skirt, revealing fresh cuts, and Grace becomes angry]

Lewis: We just want to help.

Carter: If you don’t stay and agree to speak to somebody, you are going to force me to put you on a psych hold.

Grace: Stop. You are blowing this way out of proportion. Why are you doing this?

Carter: Because I know what it’s like to need help when you least want it.

Grace: Please just leave me alone.

Carter: I can’t.

I love Carter’s line “because I know what it’s like to need help when you least want it.” For those who are not familiar with the show, in Season 6 Carter developed a drug problem after being nearly fatally stabbed. He was confronted by the rest of the ER staff and ultimately went to rehab.

I wish I could find a clip of this scene online because the transcript really doesn’t do it justice. Noah Wyle (the actor who plays Carter) does a great job delivering the line with sincere empathy. I love the way he tells her that no, he can’t just leave her alone.

As much as I can be resistant to help, I am very grateful to all the people who continue to stick by me, and help me even when the eating disorder is fighting back and I appear not to want it. I know for me, it’s often when I least want support¬†that I need it the most.

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