When You Least Want It

From ER Season 8, Episode 7 “If I Should Fall From Grace”:

Carter: Want to tell us about the scars?

Grace: I used to be a cutter…I developed an eating disorder. It was my way of dealing with stress….

Lewis: And what about now, are you still cutting?

Grace: No.

Carter: Show me your arm….Grace you have a fever…maybe from an infection. Maybe from using a dirty blade. 

Grace: I told you I haven’t eaten.

Lewis: So the eating disorder continues?

Grace: No! I’ve just been cramming.

Carter: Let me see your thigh.

[Lewis lifts up her skirt, revealing fresh cuts, and Grace becomes angry]

Lewis: We just want to help.

Carter: If you don’t stay and agree to speak to somebody, you are going to force me to put you on a psych hold.

Grace: Stop. You are blowing this way out of proportion. Why are you doing this?

Carter: Because I know what it’s like to need help when you least want it.

Grace: Please just leave me alone.

Carter: I can’t.

I love Carter’s line “because I know what it’s like to need help when you least want it.” For those who are not familiar with the show, in Season 6 Carter developed a drug problem after being nearly fatally stabbed. He was confronted by the rest of the ER staff and ultimately went to rehab.

I wish I could find a clip of this scene online because the transcript really doesn’t do it justice. Noah Wyle (the actor who plays Carter) does a great job delivering the line with sincere empathy. I love the way he tells her that no, he can’t just leave her alone.

As much as I can be resistant to help, I am very grateful to all the people who continue to stick by me, and help me even when the eating disorder is fighting back and I appear not to want it. I know for me, it’s often when I least want support that I need it the most.

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3 thoughts on “When You Least Want It

  1. This episode originally aired literally the day after someone in the newspaper office called me out. We watched the show as a staff because Thursday night was deadline night. I was sure I was able to fall off the planet.

  2. What eerie timing with your situation. I watched it the other day as part of a project I am working on and it just spoke to me on so many levels. You can tell that Carter really gets it, and really wants to help. So rare to see that in the medical profession (and in general).

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