Exhaustion

Grey’s Anatomy Season 13, Episode 8:

“We’ve all hit that point of exhaustion. The point where nothing makes sense anymore…your body hurts, your brain becomes foggy, and you feel like you’re trapped in a tunnel. When all you want is your bed. So, how do you keep going? How do you not just sit down and give up? Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes you play games in your head…whatever you need to keep you going.”

I have complained many, many times on here about being tired of being tired. Being tired seems to be a constant theme in my life over the past several years. Whether I’m eating 100% or not, I’m tired. I have been in treatment with people that notice an improvement in their energy levels with nutrition. Thus far, I have yet to experience that.

In all honesty though, lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve hit the point of exhaustion when it comes to recovery. Fighting the eating disorder thoughts day in and day out is just plain exhausting, and like the quote says, I feel like I’m trapped in a tunnel. Most days I can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I want is to lay in bed, and wake up and have it be a new day, an easier day.

I like the reminder here though that it’s important to do whatever it takes to keep you going. Whether that’s working more, working less, more treatment, less treatment…the key is to find whatever it takes to just keep going, one day at a time. I am told it does get easier, so now is the hard part of summoning everything in me to keep fighting through this exhaustion.

 

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