Obsessing

House: Started thinking about what you said, about me obsessing. Started obsessing about obsessing.

Season 6, “Epic Fail”

I have been thinking about this quote a lot as I try to work on decreasing my obsessive thinking. I obviously have obsessive thinking related to food and weight, but the obsessive thinking extends beyond that. My therapist and I have recently started talking about other types of obsessive thinking, and it’s been eye opening to realize that not everyone spends time obsessing about, well, basically everything.

I remember as a kid being very obsessed with saying or doing the “right” thing. I would replay conversations in my head and rehearse future conversations until they were “just right.” I know it’s perfectly normal to think about a previous interaction or prepare for an important discussion, but I would do it over EVERY interaction. I still struggle with this, although not nearly as much as I used to. I wonder if some of the obsession about food and weight is a way to take my focus off of these other obsessions.

My therapist introduced me to this thing called “Just Right OCD”, which fits with a lot of these obsessions. You can read more about it here. I don’t really struggle with making sure things are “just right” (i.e. that a pen is in the exact right spot on the desk), but I definitely obsess about making sure that I express myself “just right” or write an email (or even this blog post “just right.”

In light of all of this, I am now trying to focus less on making things “just right”, both with food and other things. So in honor of that, I am writing this blog post and NOT editing it over and over again. I apologize in advance for any errors, but hopefully this is the first step towards getting rid of some of this obsessive thinking.

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