I’ve been pretty bad about blogging lately, so here are some House quotes to get the ball rolling again:
“If history is written by the victor, how do we find out what really happened?” ~ House
This quote kind of captures the constant back and forth in my head over whether or not I really am “sick” or in the right level of treatment. How do I know what I really need? How did I know if I am really sick, as opposed to being a hypochondriac? Half the time, the eating disorder is telling me I definitely don’t need treatment. But then sometimes I think “well, the fact that I did X, Y and Z means I need to be in treatment.” Thus, my view of how I am doing is skewed based on whether it’s the eating disorder or my rational mind “writing the history.”
“I said I was an addict. I didn’t say I had a problem.” ~ House
This fits in with what I wrote above. I admit that I have an eating disorder, but since I am doing normal things like hanging out with friends and having dinner with my family, I feel like it’s not really a problem per se.
“Problem is, if I can’t trust you, I can’t trust your statement that I can trust you. But thanks anyway, you’ve been a big help.”
This is how I feel with treatment professionals and my family – I have been really honest this treatment go around, but because I have lied in the past no one (especially my mom) believes anything I say. I am trying to show through my actions that I can be trusted, but it’s hard.